clear vision - clear results

Well, some stuff broke through. Doc pressed on my right jaw, it hurt, then my chest reverberated. I think with me he has a wait/see approach.    We talked more about mistrust. He said perception is always prior to thinking. Then I told him of the comment I heard yesterday, which I was admonished not to over think. He lauded it for being accurate but, it didn't come from me. Then, I held my hands, forearms over my eyes a lot. I did yesterday as well. This world is so corrupt at times. I even said as much. Then I asked why I shut my eyes. He returned the query. I said I did not know. He related it to my earlier statement on seeing people and how base their motivations were. I said I did not know if the reason was within, or without. Then I told him he felt like he was 50 yards away.    Doc: "and is that a good thing, or a bad thing?"   Me: "I do not know"   Him: "phrased another way, do you shut your eyes to maintain distance from pe...

I'm trying to remember...Doc pressed down on my forehead, and some screams came out. He said I could ask him any question. I cannot at that time recall what I asked. But I let loose some of my anger at the world. The people I said, they are all tacit culprits, in their silence. They help create the problem then they have the nerve, the temerity, to act like they don't know why these sorts of insane events happen. They know fucking well why people take guns and just spray bullets. Nobody helped me.  I had to figure it out on my own. I beat my chest because it wouldn't stop spasming, then told Doc "see, I stopped it". He just nodded and mm-hmmed. I actually went to dance after, although I was stumbling and could barely walk. A passerby, woman, asked me if I was ok. I got to Canal and was going to depart to Queens, but figured I might as well get my dancing time in. The rest is chronicled in my dancer log(tm). What a night eh.