Running on a deficit of energy
The past few years, hell, since 2020 really, my energy has been depleted. Lately, the past few months, I've been waking up, asking for a reason why, to do anything. Most days, I feel as if nothing matters, that I don't simply care about anything. It all seems so pointless. A day or two ago, I realized I had no motivation to continue, even living perhaps. There was just nothing left. So, I asked myself, should I continue? Everywhere I turned, there was a wall. But somewhere, there was a faint voice, my own perhaps, agreeing with me that nothing matters, but move forward anyway. For the mere sake of it. Just because. It whispered back to me, just try this one thing, even though it might not matter, just to see if it could make a difference. I'll try to keep going from here. From at least March to September, I'll get at least 5 minutes of sun a day. Maybe from there, I'll chase the sun to the south equator, when the financial timing is right, but I can't keep livin...