clear vision - clear results

I woke up this morning feeling as I've never felt. I awoke feeling saturated and chock-full sick of the nonsense. from the madness of online forums, to propaganda perpetrated by the media, by Trump, and everything else. I don't want it anymore.

Man was born free, yet everywhere he is in chains. There's no other way out of this, but to get rich. Then at least, you can call your own shots.

I was sent another vivid reminder of this on Wednesday, as I awoke to see the biggest insect I have ever seen crawl into my bed to greet me good morning. It starting scrabbling around my leg, rousing me from sleep. I had to use a washcloth to kill the thing it was so large. This was a very clear signal from the universe to forget about previous women, and leave them behind mentally. They were dirty, scheming and unbecoming of me overall. so here I am. It never ceases to amaze me how fast negative intentions materialize in this world. Building something positive takes time, but to dissipate it? Happens in an instant. I'll keep my focus on girls to be, rather than girls-that-were.

Last night I dreamt of her once more. But it was different.  The feel was different.  earlier in the day I asked for a shield, to protect me from the moral depravity of women. At night I had the dream of her walking away from me, in what instance I do not recall. Whereas before I would've felt loss at this upon awakening, this time, there was only a flat acceptance. Farewell my darling.  I loved you so dearly. And I will not forget. Perhaps in years far ahead will I hearken back to our past adventures, forever stored in my memories museum. But I must keep moving. I will appreciate what you meant to me.

I had an interesting encounter today at the gas station. while wearing my Irish NYC t-shirt, similar to this: A patron entered behind me, and immediately noted how "you don't look Irish". I took the comment at face value, to mean that I have some African resemblance, presumably being black or at the least, not "pure" Irish so I said "half-way". I asked if he had ever been to Ireland, he said no. I then told him that not all Irish looked the same. he then said, to himself: "well, I'm American" and that was the end of it.  I began to wonder what in my environment or mindset had shifted to put forward this negative movement. I then realized after some reflection, my thoughts have shifted toward blacks in general. I am starting to believe they have high potential, maybe the highest of all 'races', but haven't been living up to that in America, to say the least. I thought about how long it would take them to reform their...

last night, I was at the Yanni concert, here in Charleston: Before the show. ( left ) During the show. Hard to see the silhouette of the woman singing. ( right ) At one point, my eyes started to clear up: my left eye specifically. Then my neck started convulsing, twisting and pulsing. It was as if my neck wanted to "throw up" the excess tension. Then, with Yanni and some of his band-members, I almost saw them clearly! Later on I felt some quick dry stabs in my left eye, I guess because it was stretching that far, and I haven't used it at that distance in about two decades . Even today, I feel the back of my neck and it feels looser than it ever has. The tension bands running up on the left side has decreased a bit, maybe by half, so I'm excited to keep going.

so, I am back to fasting successfully, and its going well. over 4-5 years of having trouble maintaining a fast for any longer than a day, I realize the key to making it last is having some traces of longer lasting carbohydrate in the system. enter starch: potatoes, rices, and so on, and the key to making it last is eating them consistently , day after day. I'm on my 3rd day of fasting today, and I think I might keep going because of my current vision restoration initiative. I'm starting to notice tweaks with my vision, and tension pulsing in and out of my face. why not? its not like I have to eat today, although it would be an exercise to finish the day this way. I might as well finish the day. I don't get back to training until Friday, so I can eat tomorrow. I should eat tomorrow, given that. still, though, I wish I could go longer. when I read stories about people like Kermit Washington who fast for 5 days and drop 18 pounds, it revs me up in a way. I will very l...