clear vision - clear results

I haven't covered my trip to Texas yet, but it led me to discover some things. One is I do not take constant criticism well, and it came in high doses from K. So that leads me to believe that I'm better off, not on my own, but spread out as I were before. I went to three cities for my "Texas Triangle", here's the breakdown: San Antonio: has SeaWorld, the River Walk, which is great, and the Alamo. Had a good time, but it has a sleepy sort of bedroom community vibe. Houston: very urban, very crowded. Some folks w/ great houses there in the city itself, and good local musical talent. Very much my vibe, but different than eastern cities in some sense. More...mid-western I suppose one could say. Austin: lots of fun. music every which way you go. Would come back just to hang out. Creatives definitely flock here for a reason. Went to quite a few music events--Zapp & Roger, local improvisational talent, and local groups everywhere else. This is seven days a week! I...

My big leap this summer, and this year, will be the return of my dreams, specifically, my remembrance of them. After about a week now, of remembering them upon waking, I see they are quite mundane and filled w/ worry about what could potentially go wrong in my daily life, provided I make certain mistakes. Situations like sleeping in late, or not giving certain women what they want, it's all so...quotidian. In some measure this must hold me back. Perhaps, no, it's likely that I need an imagination upgrade. Now that I have visibility into these aspects of my nightly cerebrations, I can take steps to correct them. I'm already on the way to correcting my weight issues. Just takes focus and imagination over a period of time.

What a year this was. I was going to say 'probably' the most productive of my career, but there's no 'probably' about it. This was the most productive year of my career, and maybe my life too. Since summer 2021 I had been working 2 jobs, and that job ended at the end of August. From there, I took some time to recover, about a month, actually that's not true. On the very day it was ending, a recruiter called me, for another position! I accepted since the pay was good. That started a month later, beginning of October. Since then, it's been a rollercoaster ride. I picked up another job, shortly after, at the same firm where the other job ended, but that didn't start until November. I also didn't mention the other job I do, working for another state agency, albeit part-time.  Backing up from the start of the year, at my original job, my previous manager got promoted, then I switched teams, and from there--got hired on full time. It's a state agency,...

An animal is at its most vulnerable during a few phases of necessary biological function. Sleeping. Mating. And with some animals, shedding its skin to make room for a new one. As it for animals, so it is for humans.  I've made the mental decision to change this summer, and I intend to go through with it. I suppose throughout the process, my old (mental) skin will be pushed to the fore, and I'll be vulnerable throughout that time. Not to a huge extent, but already I'm seeing negative movements on multiple fronts. I can only hope that nothing goes too badly for me during the transformation.

 I'm 99% sure more mental work is required. Staying on point mentally is a job in and of itself, both from assaults within and without, but lately it seems like whenever I take a rest break from affirming my intuition or my instinct, I fall back into whatever identity I have "by default", and, suffice it to say, the social and interpersonal results are subpar, at best. The true state of things is that more work has to be done mentally, since, as a man thinketh, so therefore is he. James Allen wrote of this, quite eloquently in his timeless book. I want to get to the point where when I wake up, my thoughts default to a strong, impervious state, not whatever trauma has informed and is still influencing my thinking. Living in my new home now, I'll be fine to do this. I have the main workbook required, and I'll take it forward from here. If its important, and it is, I'll make the time to accomplish this. Career goals, et al, aren't as nearly as important as de...

Salt is more important than sugar. I believe this is the key. As a kind of proof, today I weighed about 316.7 later in the day, after eating a ton of ice cream last night. Yesterday I was around 319. In other words, I lost weight eating tons of Cold Stone.  I believe flushing out the excess salt is what my body has been trying to do for months now, but I have been haplessly cutting it out from completing that process. I've been reading and have a ton of notes, it has likely also been giving me intermittent headaches. 500-1500mg seems to be a good cutoff point. Undoubtedly, I've been consuming much more than that. I can see it all around me as well. Salt leads to excess water. Excess water causes bloat. Americans are nothing if not bloated. It also causes puffiness, and I see that puffy occasionally in myself and in many others. This is the key. Intuition has led me here, and truly, an inkling of the solution to my weight woes has been on the outside of my mind for weeks now. I ...

Its been too long since I've updated, I really should be more on top of this. I'll attempt to post quarterly going forward, at least when the seasons shift, at minimum. On to the updates: The biggest event this year is probably myself starting a new job. I'm working two jobs at once, one for a govt agency and another for a big, well-known international bank. The bank job is the newer, been at it for a few weeks now. Its been eye-opening seeing how others use the technology I specialize in, and the opportunity to learn and experience new tools is exciting. Its been fun so far, being around real pros there. A few long nights, but nothing I can't handle, and that's to be expected given the nature of what I do, at least occasionally. Travel wise, I haven't been to too many places this year: just NYC for a month, in May, for treatment. Had to return because I didn't have enough $$$ . Then, two weeks ago, I traveled to Denver, stayed the weekend, and had a great t...