clear vision - clear results

An animal is at its most vulnerable during a few phases of necessary biological function. Sleeping. Mating. And with some animals, shedding its skin to make room for a new one. As it for animals, so it is for humans.  I've made the mental decision to change this summer, and I intend to go through with it. I suppose throughout the process, my old (mental) skin will be pushed to the fore, and I'll be vulnerable throughout that time. Not to a huge extent, but already I'm seeing negative movements on multiple fronts. I can only hope that nothing goes too badly for me during the transformation.

 I'm 99% sure more mental work is required. Staying on point mentally is a job in and of itself, both from assaults within and without, but lately it seems like whenever I take a rest break from affirming my intuition or my instinct, I fall back into whatever identity I have "by default", and, suffice it to say, the social and interpersonal results are subpar, at best. The true state of things is that more work has to be done mentally, since, as a man thinketh, so therefore is he. James Allen wrote of this, quite eloquently in his timeless book. I want to get to the point where when I wake up, my thoughts default to a strong, impervious state, not whatever trauma has informed and is still influencing my thinking. Living in my new home now, I'll be fine to do this. I have the main workbook required, and I'll take it forward from here. If its important, and it is, I'll make the time to accomplish this. Career goals, et al, aren't as nearly as important as de...

Salt is more important than sugar. I believe this is the key. As a kind of proof, today I weighed about 316.7 later in the day, after eating a ton of ice cream last night. Yesterday I was around 319. In other words, I lost weight eating tons of Cold Stone.  I believe flushing out the excess salt is what my body has been trying to do for months now, but I have been haplessly cutting it out from completing that process. I've been reading and have a ton of notes, it has likely also been giving me intermittent headaches. 500-1500mg seems to be a good cutoff point. Undoubtedly, I've been consuming much more than that. I can see it all around me as well. Salt leads to excess water. Excess water causes bloat. Americans are nothing if not bloated. It also causes puffiness, and I see that puffy occasionally in myself and in many others. This is the key. Intuition has led me here, and truly, an inkling of the solution to my weight woes has been on the outside of my mind for weeks now. I ...

Its been too long since I've updated, I really should be more on top of this. I'll attempt to post quarterly going forward, at least when the seasons shift, at minimum. On to the updates: The biggest event this year is probably myself starting a new job. I'm working two jobs at once, one for a govt agency and another for a big, well-known international bank. The bank job is the newer, been at it for a few weeks now. Its been eye-opening seeing how others use the technology I specialize in, and the opportunity to learn and experience new tools is exciting. Its been fun so far, being around real pros there. A few long nights, but nothing I can't handle, and that's to be expected given the nature of what I do, at least occasionally. Travel wise, I haven't been to too many places this year: just NYC for a month, in May, for treatment. Had to return because I didn't have enough $$$ . Then, two weeks ago, I traveled to Denver, stayed the weekend, and had a great t...

What a year. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Actually , this year was mainly the worst of times. A worldwide pandemic hit, in the novel coronavirus (COVID-19), Kobe Bryant died in January, I couldn't go to the Olympics in Japan, and one of my Uncles just died Sunday night, 12/27, of a heart attack. His name was Uncle Tony. Rest in Paradise. On the flip-side of all of that, I was able to get three consecutive months of treatment in, in New York City. It totaled to 84 sessions. Cost was a pretty penny, but at least I'm firmly on the path, toward health. My brother is here, visiting in Phoenix, taking in the sights. I hope he decides to move here, as it would be very good for him. I bedded two new women this year, a doctor and a writer, both in NYC. Had some long nights there. Got a raise at work. In conclusion, some positive happened for me, for sure. Overall, I had a decent year this year. I was expecting more out of it, of course, but it wasn't too bad....

  I'm almost there...I go to NYC in a few weeks to do 3-4 sessions weekly, for at least three weeks, maybe more if I can. Now that the coronavirus pandemic has lessened to a large degree in New York City, I'll be able to go there and do what I've been wanting to do, which is get more sessions. I have enough money saved up now, and my job situation is fine. I haven't been in the office since mid March. I have no need to be in Phoenix for the time being. Everything is remote now. Speaking on the coronavirus pandemic, I feel I should say a few words on how disruptive it has been to my daily life, and the lives of the world in general. First, on its origins. It came from China. Officials there it originated in the "wet markets", where merchants and food vendors sell and eat strange delicacies, such as bats and other creatures, but in my opinion, thats a farce, especially considering how trust-worthy CCP officials are known to be. I personally believe it came from ...

Its been almost two months since Kobe Bryant passed, in a helicopter crash on January 26, 2020, and I feel ready to commit to paper (or digital medium) how I felt. Long story short, it hurt. It took awhile for the shock to wear off, and a few times, I felt like crying, but no tears would come. But after some time, reality began to set in. The day after it happened, I awoke to find a world that was no better than the day before. I admired him for so long. It seemed as if he would live forever. He accomplished a great deal and was destined for even more. He almost seemed immortal. But no man is immortal, in the real sense. Memento mori . I recently watched Stephon Marbury talk about Kobe, and he said he saw that Kobe Bryant was becoming a spirit on this Earth. He truly was. He embodied the spirit of the game. Pure competition, self-improvement, directed aggressiveness, focus and relentlessness toward reaching a goal. Thats who he was. He reached a point where he was bigger ...