heartsick

We humans live in an amazing world, an amazing and a sad world.

I saw her last night. a facsimile of the one, the one woman who approached me all those years ago. when I first came to New York. that it happened within a day of me going on one meal diet is substantial to my eyes, it continues to amaze how fast the universe is in responding sometimes.

The other thing I feel is, I'm heartsick over this woman. and I don't even know her. so much for my idealism being dead? I thought it had been killed off by New York City. whatever the case, some strong blows have definitely been dealt to it by social reality over these past years in my life.

What do I want? I don't know. I want both. To have the security and love in a woman, but be able to run free, wild, simultaneously.



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