Therapy 10-15

Today was an important session I feel, for reasons I'm unable to delineate just yet. 

It was on the whole a conversational session, with plenty of give & take.  

My mistrust was outlined once again, and I posed many questions concerning women. Chief among them was: if I have two impulses or desires from them: one to feel secure, and loved, and the other to run free, and wild, which to follow? His answer enumerated Freud's pleasure principle, which basically is to say, do what gives you the most pleasure, if you can stand it. A central qualification. My counterpoint here was to say that a backup is needed, as things inevitably can and most often, do fall apart. 

Then he spoke of my tendency to ab normalize the female impulse to reach for comfort/stability in men. He said I have trouble accepting this from them, that I tend to cast a mistrustful eye whenever the subject of money is involved. And I should. Or should I? I wanted a pure love from woman, free from financial obligation, or at the very least, that cannot be her overriding motive, ala the MO of gold diggers everywhere. A man has to protect himself, and every woman has a little of that in her. Like he said though, sometimes you can meet a woman that has enough qualities you desire to make it worthwhile. To make it worth the cost, if viewed in that way; from an Economists' perspective. 

I also asked if I sounded the same as when I walked in, when it comes to the topic of women & mistrust in general. He said I can recognize it sometimes, which is progress. I think I spend much mental energy on them, frivolously, to no avail, little avail. I'm improving though. Just need some good ones to treat me right! To be emotional with, perhaps, and have spectacular sex with, no doubt. 

After we chatted about Halloween, and its big up in Scarsdale for children's activities. Very cool.