Dream + Social Evasion

Last nights dream was a direct corollary of the therapy session last night. I awoke, inside a house with a woman (who resembled one of the dance apprentices I train with). It was in a dark room, yet the light from the hallway was on the edge, outlining our silhouettes. I began kissing her passionately, in my arms when I spotted someone hanging from the ceiling. I remember before this it seemed as if I was traveling from room to room? The figure, who seemed to be laying supine on the ceiling, threw a dart to immobilize the woman, and next one was thrown to immobilize me. This is, in re, part of the story of my life... it very powerfully reflects my experience. 

Next, over the past few days the tone and qualia of comments people have been making has been extremely reflective, to my eyes at least. As I know, there's a principle or rather a working of the inner belief in such a way that when one is making a true change, in the beginning period, the opposite of the desired change is what will be experienced. Why? Because a person cannot hold two contradictory beliefs at once, therefore the continued practice of the desired belied will "push" the undesired belief outward in such a way as this is what will be transmitted to others, the world and this is what will be responded to. At the outset of the change is when the more extreme examples will be seen, as it will be a novel experience for the person attempting to shift. 

I say that because lately a few folks have been making slightly cruel jest of my [fostered not chosen] habit to continually escape social interaction, particularly in larger groups or in party settings. I believed it to be false at first; this notion is slowly eroding. Why I see it now is because I believe I am close (relatively speaking, not in terms of time), to making the shift back to where I was, as a child or preteen. That's a good thing and I accept negative responses in the moment for true positive in the future.