clear vision - clear results

Have to write this out now, before I forget.   I got there and picked up from where we left off the night before. The main thrust of what he is saying is be professional, regardless of whether above or below somebody.In situations where I become unsettled, then is precisely when it is most crucial to remain professional. Phrasing of expression is key in the workplace: blunt language rarely works, but assertive language does.    I talked about the family/work thing, which had confused me to a point. I did not know: if its all about the work, and everything comes down to the work, why do people continually try to conflate the two? is it on purpose, to get us to drop our psychic guard? I used to continually wonder this: did V really mean what he said when he said we're like family? or did D mean that, I am like a son? The conclusion I come to is  NO : you can't fire a family member if they don't perform. There is no performance metric. They don't have ...

Focus on the work, he says. This is the gist, the core of what was being imparted. At work, I made a gesture when being told to put my name on the ticket, and had to have a conversation with the lead. So, this was insubordination apparently, especially if done in front of others. Basically I always have to do what is told, what the boss says. If I don't like it, feel free to find another job. So I will. I understand now. All that occurs on the job to be taken in context, of being on the job. I just dislike the probing that occurs, the false personal stuff. These people do not give a real damn about me, they aren't friends, therefore they do not need to know anything about me on a personal level. That's not relevant here. Okay, fine then. If its about the job, lets keep it about the job. The work. It is just a job I'm afraid. If I must be present, let me get the most bang for my "buck" [time]. Let me not go out with the crew then, when I can escape it. When ...

Last nights dream was a direct corollary of the therapy session last night. I awoke, inside a house with a woman (who resembled one of the dance apprentices I train with). It was in a dark room, yet the light from the hallway was on the edge, outlining our silhouettes. I began kissing her passionately, in my arms when I spotted someone hanging from the ceiling. I remember before this it seemed as if I was traveling from room to room? The figure, who seemed to be laying supine on the ceiling, threw a dart to immobilize the woman, and next one was thrown to immobilize me. This is, in re, part of the story of my life... it very powerfully reflects my experience.   Next, over the past few days the tone and  qualia  of comments people have been making has been extremely reflective, to my eyes at least. As I know, there's a principle or rather a working of the inner belief in such a way that when one is making a true change, in the beginning period, the opposite of th...

Another illuminating session. I shared my encounter with the kids on the train, who made jest of the book I was reading: 'The American Irish!"   Then I followed up with more questions and comments concerning people. I thought the basis for interaction should be more from a sense of goodwill, rather than some sort of utilitarian motive. I gave the example of the kid I tried to bring into the fold, when I was first learning IT. the kid whom others thought to be violently repressed. I  must  give the Doc credit, he clarified this: saying that in every interaction, there is an interchange and this is true. There's always some attractive force at play. He spoke also of pleasure gained from the interaction, and I realized that I have an easier time communicating with those who have less of an ego. As it were, my work, at least on a social, interpersonal level likely comes in correctly appraising the character of others: the genuine from the false, (or egoistical)....

An intense session. I've been working out a lot, and it must've come out during this session. I began with an explication of my strategy to deal with people, and women. I would take women less seriously, as if you do impart to them the level of seriousness reserved for reality, or take their actions to heart, or over-evaluate, then one is liable to go insane. With people in general, I see the world as having a utilitarian mindset when it comes to others, What I mean is that how most people see others is in terms of how they can best serve them, what purposes or aims they could fulfill in the beholders own life. I don't like that, and I explained that vs. the type of relationship I thought interaction should revolve around: goodwill toward others. unfortunately it isn't like that. with women, 90% of them are about looks, but there are exceptions, for instance the woman who dated the 400lb fat guy, she was able to see through underneath to who he really was. there are...

Last night, I got it! Hey! Passed the 70-412: Configuring Advanced Windows Server 2012 Services test with flying colors: 962 , out of 1000. This was a test that has given me serious trouble for over a month! It was hands down the hardest exam I've ever taken, inclusive of all the total years spent in schooling. During, I wasn't sure what would happen, then at the end, when I saw the score, my legs become enervated and I could barely walk to get the paper, I really put a majority of my effort into this one: and I'm there. Officially have my MCSA: Server 2012. I got it! Celebrated with a delicious blueberry scone, and some healthy food. Not bad a bad capstone. Now, I am that much closer to the dream. SharePoint is up next, and I've made some light progress there. I was overjoyed, but it was short lived as my thoughts turned to my sister, who is due for another baby in a few months. Yes, another child that she has little hope of supporting at this juncture in her ...

Well, some stuff broke through. Doc pressed on my right jaw, it hurt, then my chest reverberated. I think with me he has a wait/see approach.    We talked more about mistrust. He said perception is always prior to thinking. Then I told him of the comment I heard yesterday, which I was admonished not to over think. He lauded it for being accurate but, it didn't come from me. Then, I held my hands, forearms over my eyes a lot. I did yesterday as well. This world is so corrupt at times. I even said as much. Then I asked why I shut my eyes. He returned the query. I said I did not know. He related it to my earlier statement on seeing people and how base their motivations were. I said I did not know if the reason was within, or without. Then I told him he felt like he was 50 yards away.    Doc: "and is that a good thing, or a bad thing?"   Me: "I do not know"   Him: "phrased another way, do you shut your eyes to maintain distance from pe...